|
 Counselling Services 
A. Face to face Counselling
P.A.T.H.S.
provides trained, empathetic, non-judgemental counselling-support for
women and men who have lost a preborn through a recent or past
abortion. Counselling is also available for grandparents, other family
members and friends who may be struggling with a relative or friend's
abortion.
We are in the process of developing a weblist of
qualified counsellors associated with P.A.T.H.S. so people can access help directly around the country with someone in their
vicinity. Currently we have PCPs (P.A.T.H.S. Counselling Partners) in
Northland, Auckland, New Plymouth, Wellington, Nelson,
Christchurch and Rangiora, Dunedin, Napier, Tauranga.
Cost:
Until 2010 we
had provided free counselling through P.A.T.H.S. This has become
untenable. Your counsellor's fee is on the weblist but where there is
hardship your counsellor may be open to negotiating a manageable fee or
you may be eligible for Disability Allowance.
Talk this through with your counsellor.
14 Guidepost Programme: For
those who would like to work through issues of loss and trauma we use a
proven 14 Guidepost Programme The programme is developed from the
former USA
Victims of Choice's Abortion Recovery Programme and is a person-centred
holistic approach to healing after abortion/termination, or any
pregnancy-baby loss experience. The manual is based on the training
Carolina Gnad has provided as part of the P.A.T.H.S. Seminars.
I was so angry
I had become so angry with and at everyone. I had two abortions.
They weren't my choice really. The first one was when I was 17. He said
he would leave me and he did, after I had the abortion. And then at 24
I became pregnant and again he would not support me. I went ahead again
with an abortion. Then it hit me what I had done. My grief is unending
and I hate him now for all I've been through. The P.A.T.H.S. programme
gave me a way to understand myself more and move on past the anger. It
felt like my life was over and now I can see things more clearly and
feel more positive about the future. I have reclaimed my babies and
named them. No-one can take them from me again. It was so helpful to
have someone to talk to who didn't judge me or my situation. It felt
scary coming at first, but my counsellor was warm and listened and
helped me to come to terms with what happened. (M - 20003)
Outline of the Programme
Guidepost 1: Engagement and storying
Therapeutic
alliance, assessment, preparation
Guidepost 2: Pre-pregnancy
Historical
context, development and functioning
Guidepost 3: The pregnancy
Relationship,
circumstances, emotions and reactions
Guidepost 4: The decision
Decision-making
process, influences and pressures
Guidepost 5: The event
Recollection
of the abortion/termination day
Guidepost 6: Adjustment
Impacts
and coping afterwards
Guidepost 7: Hurts
Nature
of hurts, addressing hurts
Guidepost 8: Anger
Feeling
angry and working with anger
Guidepost 9: Judgements
Anatomy
of a judgement, specific judgments
Guidepost 10: Possible victimhood
Victim-like
behaviour, invitation to change
Guidepost 11: Guilt
Types
of guilt, resolving guilt
Guidepost 12: Forgiveness
Unforgiveness
and a process of forgiveness
Guidepost 13: Continuing bonds
Maternal
bond and remembrance
Guidepost 14: Moving forward
Review,
celebrate, and new directions
The important
thing is the process of unpacking what happened, and what that has
meant for you. Counselling after an abortion is about discovering what is
most
significant in the experience for you.
It is about confronting the reality of the loss(es). It is about seeing
the bigger picture of who was involved and how it came about.
Self awareness and tuning into feelings is necessary to
journey through the grief. Feeling supported to deal with aspects of
trauma is vital. This may seem daunting. However, all that is needed is finding the
courage to take the first step.
Reaching out for help is not easy and opening up to someone
about such a personal experience can be painful. Some people just need
to share their story and feel heard, others want to go through the
in-depth programme of healing. P.A.T.H.S. counsellors aim to respond to
your individual needs.
Reaching out for help - hard but good.
Making the first step to speak to
someone was not an easy one as it meant to me that I was no longer in
control of myself as I needed to seek help. Despite this I knew what
needed to be done. My
GP gave me the contact details for The Family Life Pregnancy Centre
where I met a counsellor from P.A.T.H.S., and I am so glad that she
did. My counsellor taught me that it’s
ok to feel the way that I did, she helped me to look back at the last 5
years and to see my life as on outsider would. She helped me to put
everything into perspective and to create a sense of ownership in that
the story that I had just told was in fact my story, and that it is what has
helped to make me the person that I am. She helped me to grieve which
was something that I had never done and most importantly she encouraged
me to acknowledge my babies (for I had aborted twins), to allow
thoughts of them through and to think of them as part of me and not
something to hide away from myself and others. (L – 2007)
Making Contact for Counselling Help
If you would like to have some counselling for an abortion experience
or termination of pregnancy
B. Email Support
P.A.T.H.S. also offers email support. Some people find it
easier to make contact or share their stories by writing them. We aim
to protect people's privacy and email support
is confidential. (Confidentiality applies as with any counselling -
except for counsellor supervision where identifying details are
omitted, and in cases where there is risk of harm to self or others)
No one to talk to
I can't say what it was
like. I felt so alone with my terrible secret. I didn't know what to
do. This shadow followed me wherever I went. It was such a relief to be
able to tell someone about it. Sharing it was painful and
brought up lots of feelings. But the woman from P.A.T.H.S. listened to
my story and I could finally share my grief. I wasn't alone. I will
never forget my poor wee baby. (E - 2008)
If you would like to seek help by email write to Chrissie at chrissie@postabortionpaths.org.nz
|
