Breaking the silence - information, hope and healing after abortion

  Remembrance Services 

For a number of years we were privileged to lead remembrance-healing services in Christchurch.  Although we are not instigating these services currently, if any church would like to host a service we would be happy to assist.

We have a beautiful service for pregnancy-baby loss, including abortion loss, which we can readily facilitate.

The host church would need to do the necessary advertising and would be responsible for hospitality. It is helpful when the local pastor, priest or minister is involved in the service too.

In our experience it is not easy for those with such losses to front up to a public place, and many do not understand what might be involved. So it is important that preparation in the way of talking about the losses and the different ways of remembering and supporting our grief in those situations happens.

Combining and inviting other churches to join you in organising a service can also be worthwhile. Some people feel safer coming to their own church, for others a different church feels easier.

The format for our Remembrance Service was along the following lines:

  1. Welcome

  2. Time of singing or music to enter the stillness

  3. A short talk on pregnancy-baby loss and grief

  4. Readings and reflections

  5. A water and candle ceremony - included naming of babies and writing of love notes

  6. Quiet song

  7. Prayer

  8. Final blessing

  9. Another song to finish

Within the counselling work, there is opportunity too, to explore ways or memorialising and remembering. P.A.T.H.S. counsellors (PCPs) may be able to assist you with this process. In the past numbers of clients who have been through our service have availed themselves of the Remembrance Service and found it beneficial.


Forget me not, though time may pass, though months turn into years;

though memories of me may hurt and cause you to cry tears.

Let tears fall free... donít hold them in, release your pent-up pain

And when tears come... let healing come... embrace me once again.

Until the time when we embrace, when all things are made new...

Acknowledge me... help others know, the pain your choice brought you.

The pain wonít always hurt that much, and bitter tears will cease;

Though bittersweet memories will stay, there is a way to peace.

(Adapted from a poem by Lori Archuleta "In Memory of My Precious Trinity")

For more information or to organise a Remembrance Service

Phone or email carolina@postabortionpaths.org.nz

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